Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village
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- Create Date：2021-08-07 10:18:57
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Maureen Johnson
- ISBN：1984859625
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Thinking of a foray to a quaint English village？ You'll think twice after reading this tongue-in-cheek illustrated guide to the countless murderous possibilities lurking behind these villages' bucolic façades--from bestselling author Maureen Johnson and illustrator Jay Cooper。
In the England of murder mysteries and TV detectives， no destination is deadlier than a quaint country village， and you never know you're in a murder village until it's too late。 No attraction or local character is safe--whether in the pub for a pint， or on the manicured grounds of the local estate for a shooting party， bodies can turn up anywhere！ Danger lurks around every cobblestone corner。 If you are foolish enough to make the trip， at least be prepared。
Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore， Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate， should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village （or simply dream of going）。 Good luck， and whatever you do， avoid the vicar。
In the England of murder mysteries and TV detectives， no destination is deadlier than a quaint country village， and you never know you're in a murder village until it's too late。 No attraction or local character is safe--whether in the pub for a pint， or on the manicured grounds of the local estate for a shooting party， bodies can turn up anywhere！ Danger lurks around every cobblestone corner。 If you are foolish enough to make the trip， at least be prepared。
Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore， Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate， should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village （or simply dream of going）。 Good luck， and whatever you do， avoid the vicar。
Reviews
Jennifer
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This book，which I got from Netgalley， is so funny！！ I pre-ordered it at 20% read。 Are you a consumer of cozy， English mysteries？ If so， this is the book for you。
jyweniverel
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Love it！ A book about not getting murdered in one of the English villages。 Watching the English murder show， I now know which villages to avoid if I go to the UK！ Definitely don’t go to Midsommer！
Kim
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Just finished reading an ARC from NetGalley of Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village by Maureen Johnson and I thought it was positively charming！ Dark humour， just the right amount of morbidness， and lots of laugh out loud descriptions。 Read this before you visit a quaint English village and you should make it out alive。 I really enjoyed the part about not sleeping while visiting a quaint English village - "If you can， remain awake and moving during the entirety of your Just finished reading an ARC from NetGalley of Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village by Maureen Johnson and I thought it was positively charming！ Dark humour， just the right amount of morbidness， and lots of laugh out loud descriptions。 Read this before you visit a quaint English village and you should make it out alive。 I really enjoyed the part about not sleeping while visiting a quaint English village - "If you can， remain awake and moving during the entirety of your stay。。。try to find a hollow log or disused shed。。。sleep during the day， in short bursts。" Ha！There are a few quizzes throughout the book to check up on your not getting murdered skills。 I chose what I thought was a safe bet and was murdered by a grandmotherly woman from Normal-on-Toast。 Curses！I can't wait to read this in book format。 Be sure to pay close attention to the hilarious illustrations by Jay Cooper on every page。 Delightful！I would recommend this book for anyone that likes to read quintessential mystery novels that are， of course， set in a quaint English village。 。。。more
Bexa
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I have previously read the essay that has become this book。 While the essay has the same start as this book， the book has expanded and increased the amount of ways to not get murdered in a quaint English Village。 It also comes with a handy quiz to make sure you are paying attention to what you are ready。 Unfortunately， I did not pay close enough attention and was untimely murdered by a distance cousin， so my ghost has finished reviewing it and has also enjoyed this title。 The artwork is great an I have previously read the essay that has become this book。 While the essay has the same start as this book， the book has expanded and increased the amount of ways to not get murdered in a quaint English Village。 It also comes with a handy quiz to make sure you are paying attention to what you are ready。 Unfortunately， I did not pay close enough attention and was untimely murdered by a distance cousin， so my ghost has finished reviewing it and has also enjoyed this title。 The artwork is great and adds so much to the book。 Definitely encouraged reading for anyone planning a trip England。 。。。more
Janet Martin
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So funny！ This book defines in both tongue-in-cheek prose， and amusing drawings， all of the components of a British village mystery: the landmarks， the buildings， the characters， er， residents， events， traditions， etc。 If you've read even a few cozy mysteries set in the British countryside， you will recognize everything。 Part related to the village is better than that concerning the manor， but if you've ever read a country house mystery， you will love that， too。 Text is funnier than the excellen So funny！ This book defines in both tongue-in-cheek prose， and amusing drawings， all of the components of a British village mystery: the landmarks， the buildings， the characters， er， residents， events， traditions， etc。 If you've read even a few cozy mysteries set in the British countryside， you will recognize everything。 Part related to the village is better than that concerning the manor， but if you've ever read a country house mystery， you will love that， too。 Text is funnier than the excellent drawings， black and white--except for the blood。 。。。more
Kennedy
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This was hysterical。
Danielle
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This book is hilarious and a must read for anyone who enjoys Sherlock Holmes， Agatha Christie， and other such mysteries， especially if you want to visit the seemingly charming villages where horrific crimes are committed。 The illustrations are excellent and the "advice" will likely remind the reader of several notable murder mysteries。 Thank you to Netgalley and Ten Speed Press for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review。 This book is hilarious and a must read for anyone who enjoys Sherlock Holmes， Agatha Christie， and other such mysteries， especially if you want to visit the seemingly charming villages where horrific crimes are committed。 The illustrations are excellent and the "advice" will likely remind the reader of several notable murder mysteries。 Thank you to Netgalley and Ten Speed Press for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Holly Senecal
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So well done I don't even know how to describe it。 Funny and crazy， beautiful settings and best of all you get to be the main character as the reader。 ~ Do yourself a favor if you see this review> just buy the book。 I cannot do it justice in a review， Buy it， you won't regret it。。。 and it might just save your life。。。。。 So well done I don't even know how to describe it。 Funny and crazy， beautiful settings and best of all you get to be the main character as the reader。 ~ Do yourself a favor if you see this review> just buy the book。 I cannot do it justice in a review， Buy it， you won't regret it。。。 and it might just save your life。。。。。 。。。more
Hope Meltser
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The perfect hilarious read （or gift） for anyone that has watched way too much Masterpiece Mystery and Midsummer Murders and knows that the vicar always has a murdering vendetta。 The illustrations were funny and macabre and perfectly done。 It’s even interactive with quizzes as you go， like any good magazine。 Assume that someone always dies and maybe you will survive the Quaint English Village - but most likely not。 This is a totally different category than Maureen Johnson’s other books and has a The perfect hilarious read （or gift） for anyone that has watched way too much Masterpiece Mystery and Midsummer Murders and knows that the vicar always has a murdering vendetta。 The illustrations were funny and macabre and perfectly done。 It’s even interactive with quizzes as you go， like any good magazine。 Assume that someone always dies and maybe you will survive the Quaint English Village - but most likely not。 This is a totally different category than Maureen Johnson’s other books and has a quite different audience of readers。 But， she has really been perfecting mystery/crime writing and I highly support it。 Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC！ 。。。more
Sophia
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This is the funniest book I've read this decade。 So clever！ Johnson and Cooper have taken a trope so well known and beloved and turned it into a comedic read that I adored。 I'll be searching for a physical copy of this to add to my bookshelf for sure。I loved the breakdown of the characters， place， and events that are common in English villages and how to avoid them and consequently avoid your own demise。Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review。 This is the funniest book I've read this decade。 So clever！ Johnson and Cooper have taken a trope so well known and beloved and turned it into a comedic read that I adored。 I'll be searching for a physical copy of this to add to my bookshelf for sure。I loved the breakdown of the characters， place， and events that are common in English villages and how to avoid them and consequently avoid your own demise。Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Thieving Magpie
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Absolutely hilarious！ A book that you shouldn't probably take too serious - but who knows， maybe you should？ England has its fair share of murders， after all。 The book was well written， featuring a delicious black humour and is definitely NOT for people who feel offended by everything。 If you are， you're not going to have much joy with this book。 It's very dark and requires a special sort of humour。 But I really liked it。 It's amazing and I couldn't stop laughing while reading。I received a free Absolutely hilarious！ A book that you shouldn't probably take too serious - but who knows， maybe you should？ England has its fair share of murders， after all。 The book was well written， featuring a delicious black humour and is definitely NOT for people who feel offended by everything。 If you are， you're not going to have much joy with this book。 It's very dark and requires a special sort of humour。 But I really liked it。 It's amazing and I couldn't stop laughing while reading。I received a free ARC by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Carolyn
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This is a cute idea for a book for fans of cosy murder mysteries of TV series such as Miss Marple and Midsomer Murders。 With macabre word sketches by Maureen Johnson and illustrations by Jay Cooper outlining the types of murders and situations to avoid in the typical quaint English village。 Pretty much everything， whether it's the picturesque church， the village fete， the local friendly pub or the manor house there's danger everywhere。 Short and quick to read with a fun quiz at the end to check This is a cute idea for a book for fans of cosy murder mysteries of TV series such as Miss Marple and Midsomer Murders。 With macabre word sketches by Maureen Johnson and illustrations by Jay Cooper outlining the types of murders and situations to avoid in the typical quaint English village。 Pretty much everything， whether it's the picturesque church， the village fete， the local friendly pub or the manor house there's danger everywhere。 Short and quick to read with a fun quiz at the end to check how much attention you've been paying！ 3。5★ 。。。more
Megan
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I enjoyed this quick and humorous illustrated ‘guide’ that pokes fun at the murder mystery trope of the Quaint English Village with the improbably high murder rate。 This book would make a fun gift for fans of those type of mysteries， provided they have a somewhat dark sense of humor。Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital ARC。
Rebecca
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This delightful， illustrated book details all the many people， places， and events that will cause your death if you foolishly choose to visit a Quaint English Village。 As the author writes: "It is possible that you will find yourself in a placid and tedious little corner of England; it is just as possible that you will end up in an English Murder Village。 You will not know you are in a Murder Village 。。。 there will be no immediate signs of danger。 This is exactly the problem。 You are already in This delightful， illustrated book details all the many people， places， and events that will cause your death if you foolishly choose to visit a Quaint English Village。 As the author writes: "It is possible that you will find yourself in a placid and tedious little corner of England; it is just as possible that you will end up in an English Murder Village。 You will not know you are in a Murder Village 。。。 there will be no immediate signs of danger。 This is exactly the problem。 You are already in the trap。"Thankfully， this guide takes you through the village's buildings and spaces， its residents， and its events， as well as the spaces， residents， and events of the nearby manor， detailing all the suspicious， frightful， and downright murderous possibilities， then quizzes you on what you learned。 Just be careful， because you never know who is creeping up behind you。This book made me laugh out loud--it captures the essence of so many of my favorite British TV shows and books。 In fact， when I finished it I had the strong urge to go binge the entire run of Midsomer Murders followed by Inspector Lewis and a few Agatha Christie novels。 Fans of Quaint English Villages--especially the murderous ones--will find a new favorite in Maureen Johnson's latest book。-----Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Rachel
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*I received a free ARC from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review*I haven't had this much fun reading a book in a very long time。 I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion。 The little quizzes were a lot of fun too。 Anyone who has ever read an Agatha Christie book or watched shows like Father Brown will see the truth in all of the advice and descriptions in this book。 The illustrations bring the book to life。 *I received a free ARC from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review*I haven't had this much fun reading a book in a very long time。 I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion。 The little quizzes were a lot of fun too。 Anyone who has ever read an Agatha Christie book or watched shows like Father Brown will see the truth in all of the advice and descriptions in this book。 The illustrations bring the book to life。 。。。more
Heather Miller
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What a fun， quirky little book。 Anyone who has ever spent any time deep in the throes of an English murder mystery will recognize quite clearly the places and characters described in this book。 Funny， tongue-in-cheek writing and cutely creepy illustrations make this a humorously pleasant way to waste away an hour of a summer afternoon。
Andrew
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***eProof given by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review/reaction***A quick， very tongue-in-cheek read at those English villages murder mystery。 Very much a stocking filler for those family members and friends who love good Agatha Christie or Midsomer Murders。Whatever you do， you're going to end up murdered or framed for murder。。。 basically， NEVER stop at an quaint English village！ ***eProof given by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review/reaction***A quick， very tongue-in-cheek read at those English villages murder mystery。 Very much a stocking filler for those family members and friends who love good Agatha Christie or Midsomer Murders。Whatever you do， you're going to end up murdered or framed for murder。。。 basically， NEVER stop at an quaint English village！ 。。。more
Varun Bhakay
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This is a highly unusual book， at least from what I've seen of books so far。 Of course， fictitious guidebooks have been around for eons， but Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village was the first I have read， something which wouldn't have happened had it not been for the fact that it was one of my favourite genres of fiction being lampooned，Writer Maureen Johnson， with the aid of illustrator Jay Cooper， deconstructs the biggest trope of the murder mystery genre - the quaint This is a highly unusual book， at least from what I've seen of books so far。 Of course， fictitious guidebooks have been around for eons， but Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village was the first I have read， something which wouldn't have happened had it not been for the fact that it was one of my favourite genres of fiction being lampooned，Writer Maureen Johnson， with the aid of illustrator Jay Cooper， deconstructs the biggest trope of the murder mystery genre - the quaint English village， complete with do-gooders and nosey parkers and vicars and whatnot。 For some reason， the initial pages and the overall theme of the book were a bit of a throwback to Edgar Wright's film Hot Fuzz。 A throwback in the best possible way， of course。Every page， every sketch is designed to make you laugh， and more than a handful will have you trying to stuff your knuckles into your mouth and/or clutching your sides。Each of Johnson's lines lands well， and the humour is exceptionally well done， especially since so much of it is in a more macabre space and so quite difficult to pull off， but Johnson makes it seem only natural。 Her writing is complemented by Cooper's illustrations - rich in detail and rather striking too。A very enjoyable， outrageously funny book。 I would like to thank NetGalley and publishers Ten Speed Press for sending me an ARC of this book。 。。。more
Natalie
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Received an ARC courtesy of the publisher via Edelweiss。plusAmusing and macabre。 I liked the illustrations。 Since I was reading an eGalley of the book， the formatting was a little wonky， and there were missing pictures。 I will need to read the print copy when it becomes available。
Devon Stringer
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As a huge fan of Midsomer Murders， Father Brown， Grantchester and all the great British TV I loved this。 I literally laughed out loud many a time and would love to see more！Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for letting me sneak a peak at an ARC。 My opinion is my own and is not influenced by anyone but myself。
Frosta Wings It
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We all know how deadly quaint British villages are， and we all know we would move to one in a heartbeat！ Guess what？ Now we can， thanks to Maureen Johnson and Jay Cooper， who have risked their lives in the name of research and provided us with the ultimate guide to avoid untimely death in ANY idyllic village。Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village is a coffee table staple to ANY and EVERY British mystery fans - Written or Televised！ Maureen Johnson's tongue-in-cheek， utter We all know how deadly quaint British villages are， and we all know we would move to one in a heartbeat！ Guess what？ Now we can， thanks to Maureen Johnson and Jay Cooper， who have risked their lives in the name of research and provided us with the ultimate guide to avoid untimely death in ANY idyllic village。Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village is a coffee table staple to ANY and EVERY British mystery fans - Written or Televised！ Maureen Johnson's tongue-in-cheek， utterly delightful prose is everything I was hoping it would be and more！ However， the only thing that could possibly make it better is Jay Cooper's Illustrations。 His use of black， white， grey， and red was a superb choice。 Honestly， it felt like text and images came out of one brain; they were that in sync。This is a book that begs to be expanded into a screenplay。 I can see it as a British short dark comedy series！ （wishful thinking， maybe？）。 Ultimately， I had so much fun reading this book; I wasn't even halfway through it when I pre-ordered a copy。 I am glad I did， as I didn't make it to the end alive！ I was literally dead （pun intended as I couldn't stop laughing） and hypothetically dead as the book has quizzes y'all！ And I was doing so well until I failed miserably！ I guess years of preparing myself wasn't enough。 But now I feel I can finally move to the British village of my dreams thanks to this ultimate guide！Disclaimer: I first read it as an ARC。 In exchange for an honest review， I am thankful to Ten Speed Press， Maureen Johnson， Jay Cooper， and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village。 。。。more
Amber Brown
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Thanks to netgalley
Lacey Stairs
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This illustrated satire visits all the typical cozy mystery tropes， settings and classic motives in an entertaining and clever way。 I was so exited to see maps and pictures to guide the reader through the village and manner。。。 Hopefully avoiding the dangers hidden there。This book is a fun flip through and I would genuinely enjoy a paper copy to show off or give as a gift to Agatha Christie fans and the like。
M。K。 Daure
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{Thanks to NetGalley and Clarkson Potter/Ten Speed Press for the gift of an eARC in exchange for an honest review。}I will not provide a synopsis for this book because there is no story in it as such。 Is is exactly what the title says， Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village， listing the places， people， and events that usually result in murder in all the books， television series， and films set in English Villages。 As a fan of precisely the kind of books or television series {Thanks to NetGalley and Clarkson Potter/Ten Speed Press for the gift of an eARC in exchange for an honest review。}I will not provide a synopsis for this book because there is no story in it as such。 Is is exactly what the title says， Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village， listing the places， people， and events that usually result in murder in all the books， television series， and films set in English Villages。 As a fan of precisely the kind of books or television series that this books spoofs， I was really looking forward to reading it。 However， I was a bit disappointed。 While the book is funny， and the illustrations are great， there just wasn’t much in it。 It consists of very a very short paragraph， sometimes a single line， about each element listed。 I just wish there had been more to it。Perhaps my dissatisfaction with it comes from the fact that I read it as an ebook。 This feels like the sort of book that you could leave on your coffee or bedside table and pick up every now and then to read a page， looks at the illustrations， then put it back。 This will sound very odd， but it is not really a book you can read all the way through。 （I mean， you can because it’s very short， but it quickly becomes a bit repetitive。）My favourite parts were the end of chapter quizzes， where a situation is given and you must choose between multiple choices of how you would behave， then learn if your choice resulted in your murder。 It’s very fun， and I wish the whole book had been like that， sort of a choose-your-own-adventure cosy mystery。 I honestly don’t know what star rating to give this book。 I would normally rate it 3。5/5 because it was disappointing， but then again it does what it says it will do。 There just isn’t enough of what it says it will do for it to be a satisfying read。 。。。more
Heather
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Cleverly written and odd characters you’ll find endearing this nugget is worth the price of admission and then some。 A quaint book club read or vacation book。
Bibliobabe
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Step 1: plant tongue firmly in cheek。 Step 2。 Read and enjoy！ This is a great little book， highlighting the many dangerous places and people in quaint English villages， so you will be forewarned when you visit （don't go！） and attempt to not be murdered。 Great illustrations！ Step 1: plant tongue firmly in cheek。 Step 2。 Read and enjoy！ This is a great little book， highlighting the many dangerous places and people in quaint English villages， so you will be forewarned when you visit （don't go！） and attempt to not be murdered。 Great illustrations！ 。。。more
Catie
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I’m a huge fan of Father Brown， Midsomer Murders， and other murder mystery/procedural dramas set in the English country side。 However， my family always jokes that someone would clue in about all the murders and dangerous things in town。 This book does just that！ It brakes down the village into the main part and manor house and then further in to dangerous people， events， and places。 Each is written with such humor and the same sense of humor about how these shows work。 For fans of the shows list I’m a huge fan of Father Brown， Midsomer Murders， and other murder mystery/procedural dramas set in the English country side。 However， my family always jokes that someone would clue in about all the murders and dangerous things in town。 This book does just that！ It brakes down the village into the main part and manor house and then further in to dangerous people， events， and places。 Each is written with such humor and the same sense of humor about how these shows work。 For fans of the shows listed above it is a fun， quick， and highly entertaining read。 Instead of an episode of your favorite show set in a “Murder Village”， read about all the perils that lie within！ 。。。more
James
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If you read Agatha Christie or cozy mysteries of many sorts or watch Midsomer Murders， you know that rural England is probably a more dangerous place than the worst areas of London。 This book gives you advice if you must go to a quaint English village to avoid being murdered， although complete avoidance。 With wonderful Edward Gorey-esque art by Jay Cooper， this short funny book is delightful。 [I received an advanced e-galley through Netgalley。 The book is due to be published September 14， 2021。]
Amy
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RTC
Cindy
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